Author: C. Dunn
Everyone agrees that children need honest answers about their adoption situation. A difficult thing to explain to a child is why their parents gave them up, but you may be asked that question. Try hard to preserve your child’s self-worth by explaining that their parents could not,”raise you the way they knew you deserved, so they decided to give you to people who would be able to give you everything you need.”

When your child points out that you don’t look alike admit that he/she is right and then say, “how do you feel about that?” Kids need different information at different times in their development. By checking in before answering, you’ll know more about why your child has raised the issue and what’s on her mind.

Handling Bias and Prejudice-

Any child who is perceived as somehow different, due to their family situation, the tone of their skin or the shape of their eyes, can be bullied by other children. Your child’s primary protector is you. Deal with bullying the minute it happens by talking to the teacher and the family of the bully. Children shouldn’t have to tolerate being bullied. Help prevent bullying by actively letting your child’s schoolmates understand how valuable the differences in your child.

Think about asking your child’s teacher if you can present information about all of the different ways that families are formed as a special presentation in November, during National Adoption Month. The kids will learn that adoption is simply one more way that a family comes together, just like how two previously married people blend their families or when a child goes to live with Grandma.

If your child is African, Chinese, or any other ethnicity you can teach his/her classmates all about their culture.

Rebellion and anger-

At some point, your child may experience anger about being given up by his/her biological parents, anger at you for adopting him or her, anger at everyone else because he must deal with challenges that others don’t face. Although every circumstance is different, you should try very hard to understand and respect that anger and, most of all, to not take it personally.

Topics: Pastor Claude Thomas, Pastor Claude Thomas Advice |

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